I am a fraud, and a coward. 

Let’s get that out of the way right at the start . Having made my bold declaration of intent to grab a spade and start digging up my past, I have failed utterly to do so. I could make excuses; in fact, I shall make excuses:

  • I was dreadfully tired after I recorded this episode. That’s not unusual – pretty typical, actually – only this time I fought the demon Morpheus, because I wanted to read more Saki. I’d never really dug into him before, because my prison library only includes this one story, Sredni Vashtar, as part of a collection. Now I’ve found the whole lot available online, and I gorged myself until the darkness claimed me. Then, of course, I was utterly useless for days and days, and had a pretty nasty crick in my neck from passing out in an armchair.
  • My diary smells odd. It's a musty, ashy sort of smell, and I don’t like it. Petty? Obviously. All the same, I don’t like touching it, don’t even like being near it. And yes, I’m well aware that it’s all Psychology 101 stuff, bad associations with traumatic experiences and so forth. I’m sure it’s very weak and contemptible of me to have shut the thing up in the Kingwood, but that’s a compromise we’ll both just have to live with for the moment. I can look at it through the glass; it can look at me, if it likes. We’ll be ready for each other one day. Or not. I am not a prophet.  

Anyhow, if I can’t bring myself to read my own diary I can at least read that of Maupassant’s distinguished spade-wielding assassin. I do hope you enjoy it. And, as an added bonus, I’ve stuck Sredni Vashtar into this episode as well! All praise be to the hutch god, and may we never forget the power of positive thinking. 

Care to read them for yourself? Here's The Diary of a Madman, by Guy de Maupassant. And here's a link for Sredni Vashtar, by Saki - while you're there, you may as well read the whole book. It's got an introduction by A.A. Milne, who must have had rather a different perspective on the relationship between imaginative small boys and the animals they love.


08/25/2016 7:27am

You really made a constructive and very informative research regarding Sredni Vashtar. Even though you just had a very exhausting day, you were still able to accomplish your episode. Thank you also for sharing such a very amazing story. Not everyone, such as myself, is aware of the misfortune of the infamous Sredni Vashtar. I hope you create more very creative episodes as I will be keeping myself in check of your releases.

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06/22/2017 4:47pm

There's always a point in life where we feel as if we are useless. Like you, I have been in a dark place. I was so lost back in my college days because I used to go out every single night. I keep on neglecting my school works because for me, I could always do it later. Until later turned into months and months turned into years. I graduated late. It was painful to see your friends graduating, preparing to set off into the corporate world, and being happy that the years of hard work has paid off. As for me, it was definitely the opposite. After a long time of battling depression, I finally decided it was time to change my ways. So I focused on studying every single day and before you know it, I graduated with honors. Life may be filled with tons of obstacles but if you have God by your side you're always going to get through them. Step by step.

08/28/2016 4:33am

Anyway, thanks for this episode. I like it so much! You are very talented.

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Most of the time, reading different stories could help and heal us as well. We will be surprisingly involved in the story and our imagination actively participate on setting us up inside the concept of every story. Anyhow, thank you for sharing your thoughts and your story here. You give us tremendous feeling especially on learning lessons from each stories and on acquiring skills and be proud of it.

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